Pass The Brass

I have a feeling this whole Twitter thing is gonna get old….Im thinkin maybe right when I get my next cell phone bill that charges me 50 extra bucks for txt messages…

Crappy Webcam: 20 Bucks at Wal Mart

Time To Waste: Avg of 7.50/hour

Spending That Time With Your Best Friend: Priceless

Snapping A Pic of Yer Friends Arse on Flickr: Shameful

HAHAHA!! I couldn’t help but post this!

Meet Ryder

He weighs an entire 8 freakin pounds and some change! I honestly have no idea if thats a lot or a little or whatever.

Anyways, grats go out to Chad and especially Carrie Ann cuz I know she’s been dyin to get that “Tumor” out of there. Great work team! We have built a better, faster, stronger Coleman! *cue Lee Majors Cameo

So uh…after hearing about Chad’s “play by play” child birthing adventure I thought I would give that Twitter thing a shot. As it is, I am failing at life when it comes to figuring the stupid site out. And it doesn’t help that every other time you click on something you get an “Over Capacity” page which is absolute Rubbish and Poppycock when it comes to teh innernets these days. Seriously though…who gets overcapacitated these days?

I call Copyright on that word right there…

In this post I attempt to convince you that there is actually a very drastic difference between the life you live and the reality you face…

Relativity is a pretty popular thing these days. Everything is relative to everyone. What works for you may not work for another. What you may deem to be a universal truth, someone else may see it as a fable. “It’s all relative” as they say.

You go about your Life making decisions you think will help you out either financially, physically, or in some other aspect. Maybe buying that nice new car with that 5 star safety rating for the family will help you feel safer about driving around town in that congested city you live in. Overall you are trying to go about Life “the best way possible”.

Enter Reality…

Reality is harsh. It’s a harsh realization that not everything goes the way you want or plan it to. Reality is that slap in the face while you’re up in the clouds dreaming about that 500K home you’ve always wanted, bringing you back down to your double wide in the trailer park a zip code away from your dream house.

That sweet and innocent little lady that you married back in ‘96 is now standing in the doorway of your trailer with a Marlboro Red hanging out of her mouth and a dirty baby sitting in her arms. Her breasts sag in an unsightly manner because she refuses to even wear a bra anymore. Her lackluster appeal is unnerving at best. Reality drives by, spits in your face and laughs at you as it passes you by.

Living a good life is a goal for most “average” humans. Despite it’s origins in the Bible, most people take the Golden Rule to heart. Do unto others as you would have done unto you. It’s a very nice and loving Life motto and is something all humans should strive for. But making the Golden Rule a basis for Life is setting yourself up for quite the confrontation with Reality. It takes a bit more rigidity to get the full effect.

We are becoming a nation of soft hearted weaklings. Reality has been trying his damnedest to bring us to realization but we refuse to see reason. We are too busy with trying to run our perfect little Lives to notice Reality is still smacking us across the face with a Louisville Slugger.

We write books to help each other help themselves. We actually buy those books that those people write. And worse still…we try to shape our Lives by them. Someone creates a “formula’ for successful Living and we think it’s a Godsend…when we don’t even believe in God anymore.

We take His name in vain as we stamp it on our money in order to keep a small aspect of morality in our manufactured Lives. It’s only there to make some people feel good. There’s no truth behind it really. The Ten Commandments were removed from a Government building…of course there’s no meaning to it anymore. It’s rhetoric. Spouting nonsense in order to try to hide the fact that Reality is still trying to get through to us that our Lives are all fake and failing. One more coating of sugar on the bitter pill.

“Justified Lies” is how we do…

Again an empire is reaching its pinnacle. As with Rome and Babylon and the many others, we have almost reached our peak in Life. We have almost achieved that All Loving Society where morality is entirely subjective, if not a simple fabrication only to help us feel good before we go to bed at night. “If I should die before I wake, I pray the Lord my soul to take” rehearsed by our children is another nice coating of sugar. We should only be so lucky.

As with every fallen empire, we have repeated the same achievements. We accept homosexuality as a “natural” occurrence. We even wed members of the same sex in a few of our states and will soon open the doors to a Nationwide policy abolishing the remnants of the Sacred Union that used to be Marriage, turning it now only into a convenience. I don’t think it would be too far fetched to soon expect Wedding Certificate Vending Machines: Step into the booth, get your picture taken and a Wedding Certificate printed out while you wait!

Places of worship and reverence are now shadows of their former selves. Corporations have infiltrated them and they have corrupted from the inside out. This sermon brought you by…

And yet we still continue building the Perfect Life not seeing the Tower of Babel forming underneath our feet. Reality is licking his chops as he stands on the sidelines now just waiting for us to reach our peak before he starts playing Jenga with our Perfectly Fair and Efficient Life.

We build our Lives to suit our wants when Reality stands beside us telling us what we need. Our refusal to listen to Reality will be our downfall. History will ALWAYS repeat itself because man wants a Life…not a Reality. Reality is too much for our black hearts.

“I long for the beginning of the end; This world encased in flames…”
~ ZAO

I just went cruising Flickr for comparison Handlebar Mustaches…and ran into this dude who linked his profile at “gaybiker” dot com. I think I’m going to end myself.

WHY DID I CLICK THAT LINK?!? WHY?!!

Heh, just kiddin.

Here he is ladies and gentlemen. The final outcome of my two week Mustachio! I give you…The Boss

I like rockin’ the goatee much more so than The Boss for a couple reasons: The Boss requires a certain personality prerequisite which I do not feel I have, and it was not conducive to the thoughtful chin rub. Strokin’ a mustache is kinda creepy…almost evil really, whereas rubbin the hairs on yer chinny chin chin gives you a suave look like that of a scholar or theologian.

Granted Kung Fu masters would stroke their Fu Manchu’s while they pace around a room full of noobs teaching them the inner disciplines of Kung Fu; Not only am I not a Kung Fu Master(but my Kung Fu is strong) I do not have that long flowy white hair that old Kung Fu Masters have so it is not logical for me to sport such a ’stache…or any ’stache for that matter. I’m just not a ’stache kinda guy. I’d rock a full face beard before I go with a ’stache again.

So there’s the low down. The Boss is no more as he was murdered early this morning before work. HAHA! Which reminds me…

They didn’t waste any time throwin my ass back into the gears of the daily grind here. Got in at midnight and had to go to work in 6 hours. THAT’S efficiency!! Also, flying sucks when you fly into a connection flight just at the same time your connection is pulling out of the gate. So far, I’ve only had it happen twice…but they were both terrible! I’m scarred I swear.

IT’S OVER!! ACK!!

No more vacation for me…*sob. I fly back to work tomorrow morning. As sad as it may be, I can look at the bright side and say I’ll be right back in a short 5 months time. WOOT!!

Bloody noses look so much cooler with mustaches…

Hey folks, sorry I aint posted any mind blowing, deep thought inducing, magicalness in a bit. I’m just chillin’ up here in Ideeho, growin a Handlebar mustache that I have dubbed “The Boss”, and throwin beers back like there’s no PT test when I get back…/facepalm…ah crap!

Anyway, I just threw a few pics up on Flickr so you all can check my latest shenanigans.

I finally picked up my new rifle last week and went and got it scoped on Friday to take it out shootin on Saturday. We get out there and I’m not even hittin paper, so we tweak the adjustments and my sights are just way off. So we take it to an actual range where we can have a controlled test of the optics and come to find out, that sweet scope I just bought’s a real winner. The sights are so far off, I had to do a hold that should only be used for shots over 1k yards. Ridiculous, I know.

So I’m takin th scope back for a refund and I’ll just buy something sweet when I get back home in December. Meh-beh I’ll just cruise Craigs List for somethin. Everyone round here’s been gettin deals all over the place. Might get lucky.

In other news, we’ve gone through 3 birthdays so far since I’ve arrived, and I’m hopin for 5 by the time I leave. Chad’s is this Wednesday and if he’s ultra super duper lucky, so will Ryder’s. That’d be a sweet BDay gift in itself…just havin’ your son born same day as you. Here’s prayin’ for that BDay gift bro. Many happy returns. (not sure what that means but if its swappin that kid for somethin better, I say go for it!)

Went fishin’ once… caught a 3 oz Bass. It was sweet…I’m pretty much the best fisherman I know right now.

As for building that front porch we were plannin, weeeell that’s been put on hold. We’re goin over some other financial stuff at the moment so home improvements have been put on hold for the time being.

If I’m lucky, my sister’s …uh..friend….who’s a guy…”Guyfriend”…yah. If I’m lucky he’s gonna bust out a SeaDoo and we’re gonna go hit the lake this week. Otherwise I’m gonna have to ban him from my sister or something. I hope yer readin’ this Dustin….reeead and learn, buddy.

Oh and I was EXTREMELY disappointed when I went to the new local Red Robins. They don’t have Killian’s Red. I told the waitress to tell her Manager they need to start carrying it or I ain’t comin back. I think she may have believed me, but I’ll just have to try again this December. I won’t hold my breath though. I can only find 6 packs of Killian’s around here. What kinda no good lousy beer drankers they got round here?!?! Oh, and they don’t give you sweet tea either. Forget this place, I’m goin’ back down south.

Udder ‘en dat there aint too much goin on round these here parts of the woods. Until next time folks. Keep it breezy…fo sheezy.